The Top 20 Fun Side Hustles For The Holiday Season

In no particular order… Our Top 20 Fun Side Hustles For The Holiday Season.

1. A Scrooge 

   1. Pros: Cool sleeping cap

   2. Cons: Visited by your deceased co-worker after a long day’s work

2. A Grinch

   1. Pros: All the holiday presents, decorations, and food you could want

   2. Cons: You have to give them back. Boo.

3. A Scary Christmas Ghost

   1. Pros: Scaring billionaires into sharing their hoarded wealth

   2. Cons: One night only

4. Festivus Pole Sales

   1. Pros: Hanging out with Jerry Stiller

   2. Cons: People *will* air their grievances

5. A Snowman that Comes to Life

   1. Pros: Comes with free hat and corncob pipe

   2. Cons: One day only

6. White Witch

   1. Pros: Terrorize the future kings and queens of Narnia, all the Turkish Delight you could want, and you can turn your enemies to stone

   2. Cons: No one likes you

7. Control and Generate Ice as a Fighter Locked in Mortal Kombat

   1. Pros: Make new friends and the ability to test your might

   2. Cons: Fatality!

8. Queen of Arendelle

   1. Pros: Fun, winter themed powers

   2. Cons: Singing is a must

9. Doctor of Cryogenics in Gotham City 

   1. Pros: Keep the Batman on his toes

   2. Cons: Costume might come with nipples attached to the front

10. Conductor on the Polar Express

    1. Pros: All the hot chocolate you could want

    2. Cons: That one annoying kid, you know the one I mean 

11. Penguin Keeper

    1. Pros: Penguins!

    2. Cons: Pink guano that is sure to stain everything

12. A Challenger to the Green Knight

    1. Pros: A fun duel you can win to impress your friends and family over dinner with

    2. Cons: You’ll get the same a year later

13. Elven Shoemaker

    1. Pros: No shortage of work

    2. Cons: Overnights only

14. Guide Santa’s Sleigh 

    1. Pros: Plenty of reindeer games

    2. Cons: Teasing by the other guides. They’re just jealous of your fabulous looks.

15. Healthcare Provider For Children Who Have Shot Their Eyes Out with ​Official Red Ryder, Carbine Action, 200-shot, Range Model Air Rifle, with a Compass in the Stock and This Thing That Tells Time

    1. Pros: Unknowable amount of children, one to possibly infinite children

    2. Cons: Unknowable amount of children, one to possibly infinite children

16. Lamp Leg Sales

    1. Pros: A talking piece

    2. Cons: Possibly only one interested buyer

17. Nakatomi Plaza Guard

    1. Pros: A fancy new building fitted with the best technology and a snack station 

    2. Cons: East German Terrorists

18. Turbo Man Action Figure

    1. Pros: Your son will love it!

    2. Cons: Sinbad not so much…

19. Guardian Angel to Banker from the Building and Loan of Bedford Falls, NY

    1. Pros: You’ll earn your wings

    2. Cons: It’ll take 200 years for your promotion

20. RV Septic Tank Technician

    1. Pros: Travel to fun, new places

    2. Cons: “Shitter’s Full”

21. Bonus: Just in time for the kiddies who want some extra pocket money: Home Security Guard

    1. Pros: Use your ingenuity, creativity, and toys to booby trap your house

    2. Cons: Hassled by two two-bit crooks and mildly terrified by the neighbor and the classic film, Angels with Filthy Souls

Remember, side hustles are meant to be fun and get you out of your regular 9-to-5. In this case they’re a catalyst to get you out of a (fictional) funk. 

Happy holidays and don’t forget to take a break to enjoy the season. 

-Team Segwik